the day after is always just damage control
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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