She said her name was "party"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it glows. i had to have it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
