The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
