He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
