ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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