we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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