i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
