Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
