If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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