I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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