He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
