Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize