i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
