i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
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Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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