I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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