Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
