We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
