Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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