I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I love you.
Bad choice
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