I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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