I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
