If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
