Banned from zoo.
Again?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
