Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
