yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize