There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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