This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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