turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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