PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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