AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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