I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
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reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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