yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
