i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You pole danced in your parka.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize