Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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