i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
