After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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