Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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