My friends, they love my intelligence
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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