I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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