Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
