i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
