My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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