jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Welp...herpes.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
