Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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