one two three fourrrrnication!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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