i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
