Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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