ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
