And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
