Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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