My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you traded sex for a burrito?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
