one two three fourrrrnication!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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