was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
