I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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