She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
