was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
