Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.