So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk