I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.