It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
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bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
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I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher