Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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