do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
