tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
